pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
