I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
