I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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