So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
