the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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