Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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