i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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