FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
