I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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