THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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