1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
