i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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