It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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