Apparently you make a good broom.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
