I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
