I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
