I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
