Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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