I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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