He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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