my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
