the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
