turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
