idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
