Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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