Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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