i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
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Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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