This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
