Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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