he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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