I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
