i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
