I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
