I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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