Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
