I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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