drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize