How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
