I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
