your room smells of hookers.
And success
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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