Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
