Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
