Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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