hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
