I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
