Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
