woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
