Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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