i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
