Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize