69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
