This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
