Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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