There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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