Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
