pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
