"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
