Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You did what with his pubic hair?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
