lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
