Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
