pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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