think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
