Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
