You're my little dorito
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize