My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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